I quoted this passage from the book "Boy Meets Girl" written by Joshua Harris. He compares good relationship of unmarried couples to the tightness of a kite's string.
The Kite and the String
Matching romance with wisdom doesn't necessarily mean that you do the opposite of what you want. What it does mean is that you learn to do what's best. Wisdom is simply the ownership of insight. It's the "Oh, I get it!" that means we understand how one thing relates to another...and that we're willing to change our attitudes and behavior accordingly.
I like the way Eugene Peterson describes wisdom. He says that it's "the art of living skillfully in whatever actual conditions we find ourselves." When we guide romance with wisdom, we have skillful romance--romance that is directed by what is true about God and about the world He has made.
I like to think that the relationship between wisdom and romance is like the one between a string and a kite. Romantic love is the Kite that catches the wind and tenaciously heads for the sky; wisdom is the string that tugs downward holding it back. The tension is real, but healthy.
I suppose there are times when a kite feels tied down by the string. "If this bothersome string would just let go of me, I could fly really high," the kite might think. But that isn't true, is it? Without the string holding it in the face of the wind, the kite would quickly come crashing to the ground.
In the same way, romance without wisdom will soon take a nose dive. It becomes selfish, indulgent, and even idolatrous. Have you been in a relationship like this? Have you witnessed such a relationship in the life of a friend? What was it missing? The answer is wisdom.
It's not enough to simply have romantic feelings. Anyone can do that! Long-lasting romance needs practical, commonsense wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull back. When to express our emotions and when to keep quite. When to open our hearts and when to rein them in.